For Your Inspiration

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6hz_s2XIAU

39 Ways to Live

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/06/39-ways-to-live-and-not-merely-exist.html

Find Joy in Life

Hey there:

Hope you found your way here to find the information that I've been promising, to help you move further towards FINDING JOY IN LIFE. Dr. Martin Seligman is the guru of Positive Psychology, based at the University of Pennsylvania.  Below you will find the link to his website where you will find the questionnaire to determine your Character Strengths. In his wonderful book, Authentic Happiness, he states that engaging in activities in which you use your character strengths, will result in HAPPINESS.

http://www.authentichappiness.org/

Once you go to the website, scrolldown under the QUESTIONNAIRES section in the middle of the site until you find the ENGAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRES. Then click on VIA Survey of Character Strengths to take the questionnaire.

DISCLAIMER: Now that I have made this blogspot available to my dear clients, I want to make sure that you all know some important information. What you read on this blog is not meant to in any way replace your psychotherapeutic treatment nor is reading here required for you to continue in treatment with me. This is meant to supplement your therapy goals and should not be considered actual treatment. Also, please note that no information shared here is specifically about anyone of you. There will not be any disclosure whatsoeer of your confidentiality. And, lastly, ask me directly any questions about any information that you receive on this site.

Talk to you later...

Some Thoughts on Marriage Therapy

I definitely would be considered a PRO-MARRIAGE type of therapist. I tend to encourage couples to work hard on saving their marriages especially when they have youngsters. I say that I do "MARRIAGE RESCUE". I say that "I speak for your RELATIONSHIP which is dying, hanging by a slender thread". But, realistically, lots of the time, when a couple turns up in my office, it is almost too late. The love has died for one or both of the partners. I believe that love can be rekindled if there once was a spark. However, it does take loads of time, patience, work, commitment, etc. "It's not a sprint; it's a marathon" (another one of my favorite sayings). When I say this, I'm referring to the effort required by me as well. I would liken the role of the therapist to coaching, refereeing and playing in the game all at the same time. Wow, do I get tired by the end of the day!

Recently, I've been giving more folks than usual an "OUT". I'm almost wanting to say out loud: "Pack your bags and run". I certainly would always say this in cases of physical abuse. More often, though, folks are involved in emotionally abusive relationships. In these cases, the marriage is to a serial cheater, substance abuser or some other personality-disordered person.

On the other hand, I'm also blessed with working with scenarios that are easily resolved. Meeting with those folks is so refreshing like taking a breath of fresh air. Using Dr. Willard Harley's (author of His Needs Her Needs) point of view, partners are most happy when meeting each others primary emotional needs and not engaging in what he calls "lovebusters". For some couples, practicing this technique is simple once they GET IT. It boils down to no angry outbursts, effective communication, learning to respect each others' individual viewpoints and spending loads of undivided time together, basically courting each other again. In the emotional needs department, most partners need more domestic support (more "help around the house") and/or more physical intimacy (you know what I mean). Surprisingly, this is not as gender-specific as you might imagine.

What's Happening

I've had so much to say that I don't know where to start. The practice is very busy, can feel overwhelming, with folks of different sexes, ages, complex problems, painful issues and almost unimaginable situations.

God Bless us ALL...

Mission Statement

This says it all for me...who I am...what I do each day...from The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren...a book recommended to me by a client by the way...no accidents...part of the plan...

"God has given gifts to each of you from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you....Are you called to help others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then God will be given glory."

Are You a Follower?

If you read this blog at all, please sign on as a FOLLOWER by clicking on the right hand side. You certainly can remain anonymous. There also is an option of making a COMMENT by clicking on the word COMMENT below each post. I would love to know that folks are there. It will make a difference to me, in what I write in my posts, if I know that I am mainly talking to myself. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I would really appreciate it.....