In Man's Search for Meaning, which I discussed previously, Frankl stated: "Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire-the salvation of man is through love and in love-a man who has nothing left in the world still may know bliss only for a brief moment in contemplation of his beloved."
When I speak of love to folks these days, I'm not referring to romanticized notions of love. I'm speaking of love that is evidenced by actions, not just words. I'm speaking of love as a verb. When a couple is "in love", it is because they have been actually loving and kind towards each other, committing actions to meet each others' primary emotional needs. The same is true in other relationships. People need and want to be loved. They want to feel a genuine connection to others. Feeling loved because of being loved is a major key to the solution of many, many problems that bring a person into a therapist's office. Working on building, maintaining and perfecting your relationships with loved ones will certainly enhance your overall happiness and life satisfaction. I guarantee you!
The next step is the hardest. That is the necessity of avoiding, sometimes even severing, relationships with those whom you thought were loving but who are really not. Use mindfullness to carefully evaluate your relationships. It comes as such a relief to find the emotional strength to end emotionally abusive relationships or simply to curtail involvement with others who continually hurt you in some fashion. I discourage repeated contact with anyone who is belittling, overlycritical or condemning. Spend your time with those who are actually loving, who build you up and never put you down.
All you need is love.
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